This is how you are not getting out of a traffic ticket

Oh, lort. I’ve heard ’em all. Everyone has a reason why they were speeding. But guess what!? The reasons almost never matter. Speeding is speeding. If you’re going over the limit, whether you meant to or not, or had a very compelling reason, you’re still breaking the law. Not my fave either, but it’s how it is.

What are some good old chestnuts? These are classics:

“But I was driving with the flow of traffic!” This is just another way of saying everyone, including myself, was speeding. That’s not a great alibi, buddy.

“I didn’t know the speed limit had changed!” There was probably a sign. Derp.

“I wasn’t speeding until this guy started tailgating me, and then I had to speed to get away from him.” OK, Magnum, good job getting rid of your tail, but you were speeding.

“I was behind this tractor trailer that was going so slow and I just sped up to pass him!” If you speed while speeding you’re speeding.

“Yeah, I was speeding but this is my first ticket.” You don’t get speeding ticket mulligans, my dude. Although, the PJC is kind of that, come to think of it, but don’t rely on your clean record as a defense.

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. I have seen tickets get dismissed for some very valid reasons. The most obvious one is where I had a lady produce a birth certificate for the child she bore right after getting the ticket on the way to the hospital. Free pass on that one is totally the right call. But unless you’re popping a kid out, your excuse is probably dumb. Just sayin.